I'll Always be in Love With You
by ten81CSI
Summary: Mac/Claire one shot. Mac's lost his true love and he doesn't know wat to do. Meanwhile Stella makes a promise to her self that she will make sure one day Mac can be himself again. Corny summary. Rate T for things Mac says at the end. Very sad!


**_A_****_ 9/11 contribution and for Mac. You could tell how much he loved Claire. Lyrics for Mac's ring tone is P.S. I love you by the Beatles._**

"Mac." She laughed. She was on her knees on the bed. She leaned up to kiss him. He had been reading some stupid science book that she didn't care too much about.

"Claire." He smiled at her as he started to kiss her back.

"Lets." She started to speak in between their kisses. He started to trail down the side of her neck. "Have a baby." He stopped in his tracks. He looked up at the brunette.

"What?" He asked.

"Baby." She smiled.

"You really want to have a baby?" He asked her; still shocked she had even mentioned it.

"Well, yeah. I mean, we've been together for what, nine years? Married five of them. I just thought that you know we could at least talk about it."

"Yeah." Mac said. "Okay we can talk about it." She smiled, and kissed him.

"Thanks." She said, cheerfully.

"I do want one, honey, but with my schedule."

"We can work it out." She smiled. "I can have them change my shift at the towers when he's finally here. So we'd have to live on opposite shifts for a bit, but we'll still see each other."

"He?" Mac asked. She really had this planned out. She smiled.

"Mac Junior." She said.

"What if it's a girl?"

"Then it's a girl. I don't mind. I just want it to be happy and healthy."

"Okay." Mac said.

"Okay?" She asked.

"We can try to have a baby." He smiled at her.

"You, Detective." She kissed him. "Taylor. Are the." She kissed him again. "Best man in the whole world." She started to kiss him again, and their mission for a baby had started.

XXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Morning Stella." Mac chimed as he walked towards his office.

"Somebody's happy." She laughed.

"Claire and I decided to try for a baby." His smile beamed.

"Congratulations." She hugged her colleague.

"Well she's not pregnant yet, we're just hoping and trying. She's going to the doctor today. Do you mind covering for me for an hour or two?"

"Nope. I'd love to. Wish Claire the best of luck for me." Stella said waling away to catch up with Danny and Aiden.

Mac smiled as he ran into Hawkes by an accident. "Hawkes what are you doing up here?" He asked.

"Sorry, Mac." Hawkes said. "I thought you should know C.O.D. and you hadn't come down so I came up."

"Oh, sorry." Mac said, snapping back into reality. "I got caught up and completely forgot."

"I can tell, Mac. Why are you so happy?" Hawkes asked.

"Claire." Mac smiled. "I love her."

"I would hope, you're married to her." Hawkes laughed. Mac smiled.

"I'll meet you down in the morgue, I have to make quick a phone call." Hawkes nodded and turned to go back downstairs.

Mac headed to his office and smiled the whole way. He didn't think twice to call Claire as soon as he could.

"Hello?" Her voice was so beautiful. He smiled at her even though she couldn't see.

"Hey, sweetie. I just thought I would check in." He said.

"Hi Mac." She said, sweetly. "I'm fine. Don't worry I'm not pregnant yet. When I am then you can worry about me all you want."

"Deal." He laughed.

"Alright, I'll see you in a few hours, bye, I love you."

"I love you too." He said. "Be careful."

XXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It had been three months of trying, and still nothing. Well finally something. Claire had taken a home pregnancy test and it was positive, so she made an appointment to see her OBGYN. Mac was so excited. Finally three months of trying and they were going to have a baby. She already had the morning sickness. She only needed to go to confirm it. Once again, Mac had walked onto a scene, beaming with joy.

"Whoa, Mac." Flack said. "Careful with that smile. Those white teeth might knock someone out they're so bright."

"Nice one Flack." Mac said as Danny and Aiden approached the scene with their kits.

"So, really? What are you so happy about?" Flack asked.

"Claire has an appointment today."

"Really?" Aiden asked. "You're sure this time?" Mac nodded his head.

"It's really happening this time. You can tell." Mac was still beaming when his phone rang.

_ **As I write this letter, **_

_**Send my love to you.**_

_** Remember that I'll always**_

_** Be in love with you.**_

Mac knew by the ring tone it was Claire. "Nice ring tone." Aiden smiled.

"Hey, Claire." Mac answered. "I'm on a case right now, baby."

"Hi, Mac. I know. I'm sorry" she started. Mac could tell she was out of breath. "I had to reschedule the appointment. I'm super busy today I've got a lot to do and Kyle isn't letting me leave early, so I made it for tomorrow, okay?"

"Alright." Mac said, a little upset. "I guess I can wait a little longer." He said. She noticed the disappointment in his voice.

"I'm sorry, love." She said. "One more day wont hurt, will it?"

"Nope." He said. "I'll see you tonight then, bye. Love you."

"I love you too. And Mac?"

"Yes?"

"Please don't be angry with me forever." She said.

"I'm not angry with you." He lied.

"You are, oh shit. I gotta go. Love you, Mac."

"Okay, bye."

"Say it." She laughed.

"I love you Claire." He sighed. "Happy?"

"Yes, detective." He smiled as he hung up the phone.

"What's wrong?" Danny asked.

"Nothing." Mac said. "No appointment today that's all."

And then he blasted awake. It always ended like that. It was such a happy dream, but such a terrible nightmare. Claire, the love of his life, was gone. All because she cancelled that stupid appointment. Had she kept it, and made Kyle let her go, she'd have been unharmed by the plane crash. It was his stupid fault for agreeing to let her cancel. He should have made her go. Damn it, why didn't he?

Sweat was dripping down his face, and his back was soaking wet. He sat up, from the couch. It was too hard to sleep in his bed. _Her_ bed. At one time they slept there together and now it was haunting him. Everything was haunting him.

Mac Taylor went into his kitchen and grabbed a glass from their cupboard. Scratch that. _His_ cupboard. _Damn it, Claire. Why? You should have just gone to the damned doctor. Our life was just about to start, and then you're gone. Claire._ He slammed his cup down, causing it to break.

Stella heard a crash so he left the spare room to check on it. There she saw Mac curled in a ball in the corner of the kitchen. She flicked on the lights and realized that the crash was the result of a broken cup. "Mac." She said in a sweet tone. She walked over and sat right next to him.

"We we're supposed to have a baby, Stella." He said. "We were going to start a family. Stella." And then the tears started to roll down his face. "She should have just gone to the fucking doctor's like I told her to."

"Mac." Stella said. She didn't now what to say. It had been a week since 9/11.

"There's nothing I can do about it. It's so unfair, and unjust, and I'm so _fucking_ powerless. All those innocent lives, including hers. Our baby's life. I live to find justice and I can't. Not this time. Stella, what am I gonna do without her? I failed, Stella. I promised to protect her, and I failed. She's gone. I promised to keep her safe and she's not fucking safe anymore. They can't even find her damn body. God, her body. She was so beautiful. I'm never going to be able to see her again."

"I'm here, Mac." Stella said. "I know I'm not her, but I'm here for you. I'm sorry I can't be her. But if it makes you feel better, she loved you. More than anyone could ever. Just be grateful she let you love her."

"It does." He said, rocking back and forth. "In a way."

Stella didn't let go of him. She let him cry in her arms, and made it her personal mission to make sure that Mac would one day be able to face the world once again.

_**Thanks for reading, and if you're wondering why you got two alerts, I posted this but noticed some things were wrong so I deleted it and then re wrote some parts. The part where Mac says there's nothing he can do about it and he says its unjust and unfair, he says something similar like this in season one, I took it and changed it up a little. So R&R? thanks guys!!**_

And Disclaimer: I dont own the beatles nor do I own CSI


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